No Gates in My Yard

I walked out into the cold night and felt the temperature hit my face like stinging bees. It was as if the actual coldness stuck to my skin and would not let go. Tiny little bites trying to seep into my pores. The bare skin of my exposed face became firm and tense as the weather grab hold with such intensity that I felt my cheeks stiffen. I took hold of my scarf that was tucked in my jacket and pulled it up, so only my eyes were left uncovered. They were in pain from the frigid air as well. This was evident since they were now crying. I took a few more steps at a slower pace, because the faster I stepped the stronger the wind felt. The wind was even more cruel than the static air.

"Come On" I snapped at him. I tugged on Charlie's leash for him to hurry up. I know he was cold as well and was just looking for a clear spot to relieve himself in. These are the times I hate the most. I was glad he didn't take long and we scurried back inside. People tell me, that's why they don't have dogs. You know what, it's still worth it. Those five minutes of cold agony are nothing compared to the many years of loyal company and adoration for pet and owner.

Anger Management

From e-mail forward:
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the pho ne, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to
>it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the sp ot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window ...so, I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea. I called Asshole #1.

"Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said. "Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.

NOW, I feel better. Anger management at it's very best.

Joke of the Day

From e-mail forward:
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in Mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,

"So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars!
There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and befriends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.... "

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don't mess with us.

Class resumes

Time to teach a new batch of students, my computer class started again today. I didn't have to teach on Saturdays since early December. I was already used to sleeping late on Saturdays. Oh my was it difficult to get up this morning. I had to wake up even earlier because I knew I had to give my self enough time to clean the snow. I think we received six inches! It looked pretty, and Charlie enjoyed pouncing on it. I did not enjoy cleaning it though. The dive in wasn't too bad though. As my sister put it this morning it seemed as if we were driving on clouds. I love my little truck, there was no struggle what so ever pulling out of my driveway and going through the unclean side streets.

The students are on break right now, the class has gone well so far. This term gave me a small batch, only eight students today. That's perfect for me, classed will end a bit earlier then :) I'm looking forward to taking some pictures of the snow today.

Shed Aquarium

This past weekend I took my cousins, sister and nephew to the Shed Aquarium. My sister and I wanted to distract my cousins from their harsh reality they endured that day. Kids sure are innocent and carefree aren't they? They had a very good time and enjoyed the fishies. Take a look at some snapshots I took during our visit at the aquarium. See more in MY Photoblog Section

See more in MY Photoblog Section

Flash Movie - Second Term

Do you remember the flash movie that I posted a couple months ago? This Land, was a funny flash movie file, where the presidential candidates (George Bush and John Kerry) made their promises for election? Well the creators of that funny animation have done it again. Check out their next installment - Second Term and let me know what you think of this one.

QT movie - Door Handle.mpg

Why not get a head start on practical jokes for April fools day? See movie file below, this was unintentional but apparantly quite funny.
doorhandle.mgp | source: bulldotshit

Bad Luck

I had a strange dream this morning. There were many things that happened in the dream but the part that was more vivid and disturbing for me was the sight of a black moth. I believe I was in my bedroom or my kitchen but somewhere I saw a black thing flicker. I turned to look at it more closely and discovered it was actually a huge black moth. It startled me initially and I jumped a bit. I then looked to find something to swat it with. I think I grabbed a wet cloth from the kitchen. When I was about swat it, I was startled again at the sight of a bright yellow bird trying to attack it. I stepped back and hoped the bird would do the dirty work for me. The colorful creature pecked at it and hurt one of it's wings, but the moth escaped. It came towards me and I swat it down. The bird then came in like a falcon swooping towards it's prey and finished him off. As I stared at the savageness of the kill my phone rang and woke me up.

I love dreaming, even having nightmares. It's been a while since I remembered one of my dreams. I use to remember many more dreams, it's been a while since I remembered something as vividly as today's dream. Sometimes I like reading into them. Dreams are supposedly a subconscious indication of yourself. Others believe them as warning foretelling things in your life. I remember when I was a kid my mom had superstitions with a black moth. I don't recall exactly what they would bring but I remember it was something bad.

I cannot know for certain if dreaming black moths signify bad luck, or if they are warning of bad things to come. What I do know with certainty is that something horrible coincidentally did happen today. My uncle's house burned down completely. They've had a series of bad days this past week. Today was just plain horrible. I don't want to get into detail because I still feel sad about it. As a family however we will stick together and make it through. We will be that bright yellow bird for them helping whenever necessary.

Melted Snow

All the snow melted today. It felt a bit strange not seeing it as I drove into my driveway. This morning the entire back lot and alley was filled with snow. This evening there was no trace of it anywhere. The rain washed it all away. Someone who will miss it is Charlie. He loved jumping and rolling in it, and I'm sure he's eager to see it return.

Flash Movie - Optical Illusion

Try focusing on the circle displayed when you click on the link below for 20 seconds. Then look at the flat surface, you'll feel your eyes haze out.Optical Illusion Flash File

Short story - In the Lou

Somewhat of a fender bender came out of an unexpected date. Two friends meet up at a local pub and one inquires about the other's bad luck.

Clyde: Why so gloom George? I saw your vehicle parked outside. Quite a little ding on the side isn't it?

George: I don't care much for my automobile. I kicked it because it's disappointment. So is Mildred.

Clyde: Ah yes the desirable and insatiable dancer/pick-pocket. Quite a combination, she has mastered the latter. Things not going so well?

George: I knew it would come eventually. I just hoped she would have given me a few more weeks, that's all. Today she told me that she finds me utterly boring and for her own sanity had to leave.

Clyde: George how could you be surprised? You've got no money! NO money in your pockets to pick. Nor any money for her pockets to fill. It was not company she was after. You should have left her the first time she took your wallet.

George: Right. I just hoped she would have had more heart and feel sorry enough to realize that I loved her and hoped that would be enough for her.

Clyde: George, you have so much to learn. I woman like that will not stay with you because of pitty. Why would you want someone to feel pitty for you is another issue. Second a woman like that, and I use the term woman loosely on her, since we both know how lose she really is...

George: Clyde!

Clyde: A Woman like that is incapable of falling in love. You knew her past from what many of us warned you about. Frankly George I'm surprised you had enough to afford her this long. And finally George - love is never enough.

George: Clyde, I find you a very bitter man.

Let It Snow

Where were you when the first snow storm of the year fell? I wanted snow but I wanted it to fall while I was sleeping. Many of it did, but many of it also came pouring down all day the next day. I had to endure walking six blocks from the train station where my car was parked, while the snow hit my face as I walked against the wind.

Happy New Year

Good old 2004 left very nicely, gracing us with great unexpected warm weather. 2005 started off more rainy but The year feels pretty good to me so far. After a VERY long night of partying I woke up around noon. YES NOON :) no hang over either :) Today I did some major cleaning around the house and went for some groceries.

My friend came over for a while and we went to the movies after. Movie of choice - closer. Save yourself nine bucks, wait for the rental. The movie was more drawn out than it need be. My friend liked it more than I did. I believed the relationship part of the movie; How there is always one guy out there revolving from one girl to the other, confusing his own wants. That guy that always wants the girl he cannot have. There is also that girl wanting that man because she believe she is what he needs. "No one will love you more than I do." I won't give the movie a way, I just think it's a rental at best.