I ran - ran as fast I could! I felt the cold chill right behind me as if it was ready to take hold of me and engulf me with terror. My own shadow ran faster than I did and I held my side ribs trying to catch up to it. I was fearful of the alleyway that I would soon have to cut through. I knew that if what I was running away from would catch me in that passage way, there would be no one to hear my screams nor see the horror that undoubtedly would take place.
That was the only route I had for an opportunity to escape. If I remained on my current path I would collapse from exhaustion and I clearly remain in sight of my persecutor.
I felt like the stupid idiot girl that is chased in the movies. The same one that everyone screams to on the big screen not to go out, but surely does and quickly falls to the ground. They all do - why is that anyway? It is overly played out now!
To be continued...
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
Appreciation For A Stranger
Somewhere in the vast majority of space lies a star that remains unseen. The sparkle of it's illuminating twinkle has not been appreciated. How sad the thought that such beauty of a miracle goes unnoticed such as the twinkle in your eyes that I've yet to meet.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Enjoying a Relaxing Day
The warm weather comes and goes here in Chicago. I crazy city marching to it's own beat, it doesn't surprise me. I've learned to take advantage of those days that are nice - 'nice to be outside'. That said, my dog reaps the benefits.
© 2005 Araceli Arroyo photograph
© 2005 Araceli Arroyo photograph
Monday, May 16, 2005
When I Let Go of My Childhood
I think I can pinpoint the exact time I grew up. I allowed my responsible take charge nature control my childhood at a very early age. I date this back to 1982, just a couple of months after the birth of my younger sister. Considering all the turmoil I endured prior to that new addition to my family. I led my life as a confused kid, always hopeful that my mother would protect me and make everything all right.
I must admit I always question why ...my mother put up with my father. I know now that culture, religion and fear played a major part. Mexican women, rephrase that - Catholic Mexican women were accustomed to the machoist syndrome. The Mexican man was to be the provider, authoritative master and commander. This was nothing new to my mother. Looking at the relationship I see with my grandparents I didn't see how those thoughts could have been nurtured into my mother's mind. After learning that my grandfather cheated on my grandmother and my grandmother knowing this still allowed it to occur. She like many women of her time consider it a fad and a primal need of males.
Anyway, my father was an over bearing typical macho from "those days". However, he was not around as much. This allowed me to remain carefree for at least a few years of susceptible knowledge. I can only remember the bad times when my father was around, luckily for me that was a lower percentage of my existence.
What drove me to a higher state of mind and responsibility was the need to assist my mother with the upbringing of my sister. I recall many nights that my sister would awaken wanting to be fed in the middle of the night, which is the case of all new born babies. My mother was prepared though. Every evening she would take her breast milk and store it in thermos containers. I would wake at the first sound of her voice and would volunteer to feed and rock her back to sleep. She was more that a doll to play with, I knew better than to think of her that way. From that day forward I got it into my own little head that my sister was to be my responsibility. I allowed for this to happen and robbed myself of childhood mischief.
Do I regret it? Honestly not entirely. I regret allowing myself to worry so much for things that were out of my control and out of my responsibility for caring. I think I also robbed myself out of a true sibling relationship.
I must admit I always question why ...my mother put up with my father. I know now that culture, religion and fear played a major part. Mexican women, rephrase that - Catholic Mexican women were accustomed to the machoist syndrome. The Mexican man was to be the provider, authoritative master and commander. This was nothing new to my mother. Looking at the relationship I see with my grandparents I didn't see how those thoughts could have been nurtured into my mother's mind. After learning that my grandfather cheated on my grandmother and my grandmother knowing this still allowed it to occur. She like many women of her time consider it a fad and a primal need of males.
Anyway, my father was an over bearing typical macho from "those days". However, he was not around as much. This allowed me to remain carefree for at least a few years of susceptible knowledge. I can only remember the bad times when my father was around, luckily for me that was a lower percentage of my existence.
What drove me to a higher state of mind and responsibility was the need to assist my mother with the upbringing of my sister. I recall many nights that my sister would awaken wanting to be fed in the middle of the night, which is the case of all new born babies. My mother was prepared though. Every evening she would take her breast milk and store it in thermos containers. I would wake at the first sound of her voice and would volunteer to feed and rock her back to sleep. She was more that a doll to play with, I knew better than to think of her that way. From that day forward I got it into my own little head that my sister was to be my responsibility. I allowed for this to happen and robbed myself of childhood mischief.
Do I regret it? Honestly not entirely. I regret allowing myself to worry so much for things that were out of my control and out of my responsibility for caring. I think I also robbed myself out of a true sibling relationship.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
I'm Always An Artist At Heart
I bought some charcoal and graphic pencils today as well as some small canvases. I am excited to delve myself into my art and letting my imagination run free again. It's been a long time since I've painted even longer since I drew (doodling doesn't count).
I have a journal that I bought at the beginning of that year that was meant for my daily writings and I honestly did have it in mind to draw in it as well. I have drawn a few sketches here and there, but with ink pens. Those times where mainly because I found myself waiting in a lobby of some sort and I was fortunate enough to carry that said journal.
Here I am again trying not to make false promises of keeping a schedule for my creativity. I Celi do solemnly swear to spend more time for my forgotten creative outlets. I promise to spend time with either a pencil, paintbrush and/or camera. I hereby state that I will care not for the outcome of these projects but for the effort made in completing them.
Wish me luck
I have a journal that I bought at the beginning of that year that was meant for my daily writings and I honestly did have it in mind to draw in it as well. I have drawn a few sketches here and there, but with ink pens. Those times where mainly because I found myself waiting in a lobby of some sort and I was fortunate enough to carry that said journal.
Here I am again trying not to make false promises of keeping a schedule for my creativity. I Celi do solemnly swear to spend more time for my forgotten creative outlets. I promise to spend time with either a pencil, paintbrush and/or camera. I hereby state that I will care not for the outcome of these projects but for the effort made in completing them.
Wish me luck
Friday, May 13, 2005
My New PDA
Always a techie, I am very excited about my recent purchase. I've upgraded my old palm V PDA to this new Palm Zire. Also my new mp3 player, the only thing it needs is a built in camera - maybe for my next upgrade :) Another strong plus is that I can put my own pictures as backgrounds.
© 2005 Araceli Arroyo photograph
© 2005 Araceli Arroyo photograph
Flash Movie - The New Rocky
Very inspiring, see you can do anything anywhere if you put your mind to it. Check out the funny clip of a wannabe Rocky.
The New Rocky
The New Rocky
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Slap Your Co-Worker Day - May 13th
From E-mail Forward:
Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't care about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:
* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day!
Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday: Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't care about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:
* You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
* You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
* You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
* No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
* If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE! Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day!
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Conquering the Search Engine Giant
After checking my stats today I was amazed to see that most of my search engine traffic for my Chicago Photos photoblog came not from the usual source. Last march I was thrilled that I was ranking very well on Yahoo! - within top 5 nonetheless. (see the Yahoo! April post.) Today however, the search engine giant - Google was number one referrer to my local photoblog. Chicagophotos.blogspot.com is within the top ten search results! I hope it's not a fluke and the trend can continue. If you have the Google toolbar, make sure you visit and vote for Chicago Photos.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Flying Away
It hasn't been that long since I came back from Mexico, and I am now longing to travel somewhere else. I'm not sure if I will make any trips this summer. I am still hopefull for fall to bring me an opportunity to visit Spain, or at least head to the east-coast soon.
Joke Of The Day
From E-mail Forward:
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say - "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the freaking floor.
6. People who ask - "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say - "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever freaking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks - "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
3. When people say - "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the freaking floor.
6. People who ask - "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say - "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever freaking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks - "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumb ass?
Friday, May 06, 2005
Napster
It's official I am a Napster member. I committed myself to a Napster membership, and will shell out some cash for the service on a monthly basis. Strangely, I don't mind at all. I am particularly fond of the service. I was trying out Musicnet for a little over two months and after day 2 of trying out Napster's 14 day demo, I've canceled Musicnet. Napster has a wider selection and faster download rate. What is best is that their interface is much better. Right now I am still on the 14 day trial with unlimited download to any computer. Sorry kiddies, you can't burn the mp3's. That however is an added plus for Napster over musicnet. When downloading from Musicnet a reference file back to their system was what actually was downloaded, not the actual mp3. After downloading from Napster you are able to play the mp3s via any other mp3 player you have on your PC. I love music :)
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Can We Make a Difference?
The disinterest of modern humanity for its self is alarming. Taken for granted are many historic mistakes and gifts of nature. What was once fought for with life and sacrifices is now thrown away and uncared for. It is only in America however where the luxurious life and commodity plays a major factor for this behavior. I possess a need to make a difference, however at the same time feel inept.
I've become accustomed to my own comfort and savour the city life that I breathe in on a daily basis. I've seen and lived a lower class, however not as poor as third nations. It scares me to be in close proximity to that extreme. I am a woman of nurtured guilt, through culture, family and religion. There in lies the reason for these observations. Where this will take me? I am not ready to make a commitment. Why bother? I am willing to recognize and give light to my inner thoughts.
Thanks for allowing me to express my doubts and guilt.
I've become accustomed to my own comfort and savour the city life that I breathe in on a daily basis. I've seen and lived a lower class, however not as poor as third nations. It scares me to be in close proximity to that extreme. I am a woman of nurtured guilt, through culture, family and religion. There in lies the reason for these observations. Where this will take me? I am not ready to make a commitment. Why bother? I am willing to recognize and give light to my inner thoughts.
Thanks for allowing me to express my doubts and guilt.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Joke Of The Day
A Most Interesting Proposal
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered.
He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (as all men will).
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how ?unusual?, for $20.00......on one condition." (There are always conditions)
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (controlling, huh?)
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully said....
. . .
. . .
. . .
"Clean my house."
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered.
He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her (as all men will).
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how ?unusual?, for $20.00......on one condition." (There are always conditions)
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." (controlling, huh?)
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly, and meaningfully said....
. . .
. . .
. . .
"Clean my house."
Sleep Deprived Gibberish
It's 4am and another case of insomnia has reared it's ugly head at me. I find myself staring at this screen, filling the text box with psycho bauble, while listening to the TV in the background. VH1 has a great show called 'insomniac videos' - how appropriate. The best thing is that they have been playing many songs I like. Why can't they show these videos during regular hours?
Oh - great I jinxed myself, "Jesse's Girl" is now playing. Of course VH1 would play that song! I was perfectly happy with the previous videos - please come back Joss! Sing it Alicia! I suppose I could play the songs on my PC, but that would take the fun away of looking towards the TV every now and then to see the video.
ooh - new video, John Legend. I'm happy again :)
Damn I need to get some sleep!
Oh - great I jinxed myself, "Jesse's Girl" is now playing. Of course VH1 would play that song! I was perfectly happy with the previous videos - please come back Joss! Sing it Alicia! I suppose I could play the songs on my PC, but that would take the fun away of looking towards the TV every now and then to see the video.
ooh - new video, John Legend. I'm happy again :)
Damn I need to get some sleep!
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